I’m Weary and Worn, are you?
Live a life worthy of Christ
I get it. I really do. We are all supposed to be living a life worthy Jesus Christ. We are all supposed to be working on becoming a saint—becoming really good friends with God. But I must confess that this week I hit a breaking point. I am weary and worn. It seems like a lot of us are starting to feel that way.
For me this feeling of weariness hit be by receiving news of the death of someone I have never met but am hopeful that we shall meet on that great and glorious last day when Jesus comes again.
The Rev. Melissa Kean, a daughter, friend, Godmother Episcopal priest, and most importantly a lamb of Jesus' own flock and Sinner of his own redeeming departed this life for the next this past weekend. She will not be counted amongst those who died from Covid-19 and yet it undoubtedly played a role in her death. She died not of an infection of the SARS-Cov 2 virus but by an infection that took hold of her heart and mind. She died from suicide.
Perhaps this news hit me so hard because I was at the end of 13 Straight hours of church work and was just tired but I think more is going on here. As a priest, Melissa was supposed to have things figured out. She was supposed to be the expert and to know about the hope, and love, and support that God provides better than anyone else.
She is supposed to be the person people go to when they get weary and need strength. This simply can not be. She can’t be the one getting weary and worn. It does not make sense and if this has happened does it mean all that Stuff abort the hope and joy and life and the victory over the powers of sin and death are not true?
Pray for the repose of the goal of Melissa Kean, a priest.
Know that even bishops and priests and really holy people feel the stress of life it is not some sort of shortcoming or failure when the stress of it all gets to you. It is part of being human. Really faithful holy Christians get weary and worn.
Saint Paul, yeah that" Saint" part means he ended his life in perfect friendship with God, is weary and worn as he sits down to write to the Church in Phillippi. He is worn and
weary and locked up in a Roman prison. He is so worn and weary that he writes of his
own desire to "depart and be with Christ."
It is easy to pass over this little bit of Scripture and miss just how weary and worn and over it this really holy man and Saint was. Saint Paul is saying come Lord Jesus and take me home to heaven. Saint Paul is hurting, and tired, and, worn, and weary, and just over it. He is asking for Jesus to take him from this life into the next,
In the very next sentence he relents and says, I imagine with a fortune sense of inevitability, that it is probably better for the others that he remains on this earthly pilgrimage so it is doubtful that he will get to go. Sure enough this ends up not being the end for St. Paul but there is something profound about what he is saying.
Jesus has come and through his life, death, descent into hell, resurrection, ascension, and second coming defeated the powers of sin and deaf so that we can be redeemed as his friends forever. That victory Jesus wins is final and complete. BUT that does not mean the ride between here and that glorious last day when Jesus comes again won't get bumpy no matter how holy or faithful you are.
Life can be hard in the relatively good times and any year. This this year has introduced us to its share, and maybe more than its share, of difficulty and hardship. If like me you are starting to feel a bit worn and weary through it all know there is no shame in that. Even the strongest holiest of people get to that place. Even St. Paul, who is a Saint and all, got to that place and needed the Christian family to pick him up.
The reality of this year and the changes to life that it has brought is that many of us are suffering not necessarily from the virus itself bit because of the virus and how quickly and dramatically the world has shifted under our feet.
I don't know what your own particular challenges are but I know that I've had more conversations with people experiencing anxiety, stress, Ionliness, financial worries, and a sense of isolation in the past month than I've had in the last year. I know that this is a time when the ride has gotten bumpy.
Remember that the Lord Jesus is here to receive your cares and worries. Remember Jesus is hear to hold you up when its all just a bit too much and you are feeling worn and weary.
Remember to not only pray about what is going on but Jesus' body, that is the Church, is here to lift you up when you are worn a weary. Even someone as holy as St. Paul got to the point when it was on just too much and he was worn and weary and needed the strength of the church to bear him up.
Remember we are the church! Remember to lead a life worthy of being part of the body of Christ. That means lifting each other up. Remember the Church is here to help and the church ain’t some building. The Church is Jesus’ body in the world. The church is here to help.
Who is the Church?
We are the Church!
Remember that and lets live like it.